Leading and Including
I will not use the name of the center I worked in. It is not to keep from "burning bridges" (I believe there are some so rickety that burning and turning from them is healthy). I do not because I respect the teachers too much to associate them with negative feelings. And, while I highly disapprove of some of the center's practices my fellow admin also expressed love, care, and supported their staff. I will always be thankful for the opportunity they provided me.
My foray into the administration lane Education Director for a child development center in Austin, TX. I had never entertained the idea of becoming a higher-up. My primary focus had always been about survival, so when offered the position I accepted to be able to support teachers in the ways I wish I’d been.
The first lesson I learned was how to empathize with administrators. They bound by higher-ups, out-of-touch governing bodies, and have personal needs like their staff. As a new person in power I sensed the apprehension of my teachers when approaching their unknown manager and acclimating to new systems. What slapped the idea of continuing an administrative role was my experience with “The Wall Big Brother Built.”
I love security cameras in classrooms. They can protect teachers from false accusations as well as young people from abuse at the hands/words of adults or their peers. Accusations and their firestorm of potential problems can be halted by pressing 'play.' My issue was with admin our unfettered real-time access to the cameras.
The existence of a wall-spanning monitor where teachers are watched, discuss, and summoned for spontaneous ‘conversations’ triggered flashbacks to what drove me from my first school. Because this was a private school, accountable only to itself, my feelings of fear and anger with being unable to stand up for myself and those I was responsible for was stronger. When an opportunity came to step-in for one of our AISD partnered prekindergarten inclusion teachers I jumped at the chance.
Special education educators are some of the strongest and most under appreciated people. The space in their hearts and depth of patience for their students is boundless. The gaps they are tasked with bridging are difficult enough on their own. Ever changing moment-to-moment student needs and unpredictable (sometimes physically threatening) behaviors are the norms of their reality. The oversight, expectations and accountability were unlike anything I'd ever seen. I could not imagine a life of meetings about meetings that were rescheduled due to other meetings. The constant barrage of intricate and time sensitive paperwork takes the dedication and patience of someone a saint looks up to. I'm far from sainty but my neck hurts just as much from viewing them atop the pedestal they deserve.
Having a co-teacher in my classroom along with equally dedicated aides was the refreshing breath I needed. It was great being in an environment where everyone around me was invested in the same mission. Rare was the feeling of a seemingly insurmountable tasks. On the few occasions I felt differently, the ability to vent with people in my own classroom made all the difference in the world. Lesson planning was no longer a chore. Witness moments of genuine teaching amplified by the tiny grins of children was amazing. My colleagues became my family.
I was re-energized and looking forward to heading back into my own classroom the following year. It would end up being my last year as a teacher.